Part of living on planet Earth means we experience feelings and emotions. Feelings are conscious but emotions can be in our subconscious; and some can cause emotional and physical pain. For example, we can feel joy, sadness, anger, shame and much more on any given day. The majority of us are sensitive beings, so we feel things deeply. We interact with each other and give our hearts, love, energy, and time so we are all vulnerable to grief. It is so important to know we are in this together and that we can learn to manage our feelings in a healthy way.
The animal kingdom can help us realize that we are not alone in our grief. Several animals have been observed, studied and seen expressing their grief. The five that have been found to display significant feelings of loss are dogs, monkeys, elephants, dolphins, and giraffes. Dogs have been seen for centuries in artwork, standing beside the graves of their masters. They live in the moment, so some have been seen waiting tirelessly by the door or at the end of the driveway for their master to return. Monkeys and Chimpanzees are considered gatekeepers as they watch over the deceased. They don’t eat and make incredible personal sacrifices, often to their own detriment so that they can carry a dead baby for days. Elephants have been seen crying, burying the dead, and paying tribute to bones as they pass by the remains of other elephants. They show empathy as they help each other if they are stuck in holes or hurting. Dolphins live together in pods for their entire lifetime. They have been seen staying on the water’s surface for hours near another deceased dolphin. Giraffes have been seen wrapping their necks around each other (as if they were giving a supportive hug) as they stood around a deceased calf for several days.
These examples are relevant because they can help us deepen our convictions that on earth no one escapes the feelings of grief-not even many of the animals. Also, that receiving help and support can make all the difference as we go through tough times. We are not meant to go at it alone. Yet many feel shame because they compare themselves to others while grieving. While others find it difficult to comfort others and are at a loss for the right words to say. Yet, we can learn how to support one another which is crucial because a little encouragement goes a long way. Offering to serve a grieving friend in specific ways, bringing them a meal or helping with chores can help our friends cope with their grief. When we receive support we are not as likely to allow grief to get trapped inside. Suppressed grief can cause many physical and emotional problems and typically comes out at inopportune times.
Many want to know how long is this grief going to last and what will happen to me after this loss? Grief is individual so our responses and grieving time frames are different for each person. Therefore, it is crucial to learn about grief and how it is affecting us and others. We need to find that friend who can listen to us, write our feelings in a journal, and/or seek extra support from a grief counselor or group.
In conclusion, you are not alone! Reaching out for help and support is not a weak thing to do but a wise thing to do. You can move forward to live a fulfilling life again.