A New Look at the Stages of Grief:
For many the famous quote “Time heals all “ can be disappointing and oftentimes confusing. The truth is it depends on what we do with our time that will determine how we find life again after loss. Personally, after suffering from 3 profound losses that were fairly close together, I looked to the stages of grief as some type of compass to get my bearings. I began wondering… where am I in the stages of grief? Do my emotions fit into these stages? Have I taken sufficient time in each stage? How can I move through the stages while not letting go of the deep love I feel for those I have lost?
The 5 stages of grief are: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. Elisabeth Kubler- Ross, a Swiss Psychiatrist was the one who first established these stages. She studied in NY, where she began spending time with the dying and their families. Some would say she didn’t do conclusive research because it merely consisted of her observations as she spent time with older people who were dying and their families. While others contend that her research was incredibly enlightening. Originally they were only considered stages people went through who were facing a terminal illness. However, soon they were widely accepted as stages the majority experienced after loss. These stages can offer us guidance but we do not need to feel like we are failing to grieve properly if our personal experience varies from the specific stages. This was an important revelation for me because it lessened my anxiety and feelings of overwhelming sorrow.
We are all unique; therefore our grief experiences can differ. Yet we can learn valuable tools that help us to process our grief in a healthy and transformative way. Grief is a part of life. On a daily basis we can experience small grievances or big ones that impact us in a number of ways. Yet, there is so much hope and help available -you are not alone. You can find life again after loss! People all over the world, in every culture can learn to process their losses. We can have a fulfilling life and find meaning as we light the way for others in the future.
Please feel free to contact me. No matter where you are today I am glad to help you move forward so you can begin to heal and start to feel better. I am so grateful for the training I have received and want to pass it on to others in hopes that they too will find peace.